Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Resolve
“To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.” –Pema Chodron
Have you made your New Year’s resolution, yet? Lose 10 pounds. Quit smoking. Pay off debt. I have a tendency to be an extremist. For me…it’s all or nothing. Starting tomorrow…this body will not eat a refined carbohydrate for the next three months. I will rise at 5 a.m. to run 5 miles 5 days a week. From here on out, I am only drinking wine on Wednesdays. And from now on, I will ban Starbucks and make my Americanos at home. The list goes on… it’s exhausting and typically, doesn’t last for very long.
I was raised in a good Catholic household. If we worked really hard, deprived ourselves and repented for our sins, we just might enjoy the fruits of life. Our home was not one that necessarily nurtured compassion, rather hard work and achievements. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t such a bad thing. I value hard work, I appreciate goals and challenges, and I look forward to celebrating the rewards. But what I never quite understood was compassion toward myself and ultimately, others. In my world, there is always more to accomplish… a higher level of success to attain…and new ambitions, targets and objectives to nail. But what about compassion?
Tibetan Buddist teacher Pema Chodron writes: “When we talk of compassion, we usually mean working with those less fortunate than ourselves. Because we have better opportunities, a good education, and good health, we should be compassionate toward those poor people who don't have any of that. However, in working with the teachings on how to awaken compassion and in trying to help others, we might come to realize that compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others. Compassionate action is a practice, one of the most advanced.” Fostering compassion can help us fine tune our choices. Compassion creates the pause to contemplate, reflect and deliberate the large and small decisions we make in our lives. Compassion towards ourselves means we care about how we take care of ourselves, the life we live and ultimately, the energy that we give out. When we have compassion, we find kindness in our every action. So when we are compassionate, we respect ourselves and ultimately, the choices that we make nurture and support our well-being.
Yesterday, a friend said to me: “Jen, I know this sounds selfish but my New Year’s resolution is to start taking care of myself.” I responded: “You’re brilliant!” When we awaken compassion within ourselves, we are not bothered with losing 10 pounds, quitting smoking and getting out of debt, instead each reflective compassionate action in our lives rears reverence and admiration for the life we are living. Compassion generates value. There are no extremes, just simple contemplative choices. Year by year, month to month, week in and week out, every day and every moment in between.
It’s not easy. Work is required. And practice, critical. But the reward is fruitful. So maybe this year, you rethink your New Year’s resolution and instead of swearing off carbs, you invite compassion, and in that compassion you just might find that the donut doesn’t taste as good, the cigarettes become stinky and the dress not worth the debt. Once and for all, resolve.
“Compassion starts with making friends with ourselves…particularly with our poisons.” -Pema Chodron
Have you made your New Year’s resolution, yet? Lose 10 pounds. Quit smoking. Pay off debt. I have a tendency to be an extremist. For me…it’s all or nothing. Starting tomorrow…this body will not eat a refined carbohydrate for the next three months. I will rise at 5 a.m. to run 5 miles 5 days a week. From here on out, I am only drinking wine on Wednesdays. And from now on, I will ban Starbucks and make my Americanos at home. The list goes on… it’s exhausting and typically, doesn’t last for very long.
I was raised in a good Catholic household. If we worked really hard, deprived ourselves and repented for our sins, we just might enjoy the fruits of life. Our home was not one that necessarily nurtured compassion, rather hard work and achievements. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t such a bad thing. I value hard work, I appreciate goals and challenges, and I look forward to celebrating the rewards. But what I never quite understood was compassion toward myself and ultimately, others. In my world, there is always more to accomplish… a higher level of success to attain…and new ambitions, targets and objectives to nail. But what about compassion?
Tibetan Buddist teacher Pema Chodron writes: “When we talk of compassion, we usually mean working with those less fortunate than ourselves. Because we have better opportunities, a good education, and good health, we should be compassionate toward those poor people who don't have any of that. However, in working with the teachings on how to awaken compassion and in trying to help others, we might come to realize that compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others. Compassionate action is a practice, one of the most advanced.” Fostering compassion can help us fine tune our choices. Compassion creates the pause to contemplate, reflect and deliberate the large and small decisions we make in our lives. Compassion towards ourselves means we care about how we take care of ourselves, the life we live and ultimately, the energy that we give out. When we have compassion, we find kindness in our every action. So when we are compassionate, we respect ourselves and ultimately, the choices that we make nurture and support our well-being.
Yesterday, a friend said to me: “Jen, I know this sounds selfish but my New Year’s resolution is to start taking care of myself.” I responded: “You’re brilliant!” When we awaken compassion within ourselves, we are not bothered with losing 10 pounds, quitting smoking and getting out of debt, instead each reflective compassionate action in our lives rears reverence and admiration for the life we are living. Compassion generates value. There are no extremes, just simple contemplative choices. Year by year, month to month, week in and week out, every day and every moment in between.
It’s not easy. Work is required. And practice, critical. But the reward is fruitful. So maybe this year, you rethink your New Year’s resolution and instead of swearing off carbs, you invite compassion, and in that compassion you just might find that the donut doesn’t taste as good, the cigarettes become stinky and the dress not worth the debt. Once and for all, resolve.
“Compassion starts with making friends with ourselves…particularly with our poisons.” -Pema Chodron
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Be a Lifesaver
“Blame keeps the sad game going. It keeps stealing all your wealth – giving it to an imbecile with no financial skills. Dear one, wise up. -Hafiz
After leaving my former long-term relationship, many people asked me: “Why?” How do you sum up the fall-out of a relationship? How do you explain the failure, the disappointment, the shock, the night when…, the day he…, the moment you…, the fear, the uncertainty, the anxiety, the sadness, the unbelievable, the this can’t be my life and ultimately, the realization that the dream was no longer and never really was and never really could be, reality? I couldn’t sum it up until I understood it and when I did understand, I knew the reason why I left: I had to save my life. It was the only thing I could do.
It sounds awfully dramatic and aren’t break-ups always that way? So dramatic. They are. And in this case, the apocalypse was revealed…naked, bare and raw: I had to save my life. Apocalypse can be defined as a disaster, destruction or the end of the world. It is also means to uncover, reveal or to stand exposed. In her new book Yoga and Vegetarianism, Sharon Gannon says: “When we let go of holding on to things, our hands will be open to receive everything.”
Many of us are often most content in a state of discontent. It’s the old: “I’ll be happy when…” Facing our personal day of reckoning is scary and oftentimes gets very ugly before the beauty is revealed. When I made the decision to leave, I got some very good advice from a dear friend. She said: “Jen, it’s gonna get worse before it gets worse.” And she was right. And it was okay. It is only when we confront the discontent, challenge the discomfort and examine our truth that the joy, splendor and celebration of life can begin. No one else can do this…only you. No one else is to blame…only you. No one else can save your life…only you. Buddha says: “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
Day to day, we forget how much power we hold in our hands and in our hearts. Instead, we hold onto the monotony and the displeasure. And rather than let the thing go that keeps us suspended, we hoard it and feed it and drag it around. Sharon says: “We each weave our own tangled web of karma and most certainly become entangled in it, as our reality is being created from our own actions.” What if you headed heart-first into the disaster, exposed and vulnerable, and let the revelation begin? What if you just let it go? Instead of saying, “I’ll be happy when…” what if you simply did the thing you needed to do to be happy now? What if you saved your life?
“We must embody what we feel is good and beautiful and not wait for others to lead us.” -Sharon Gannon
After leaving my former long-term relationship, many people asked me: “Why?” How do you sum up the fall-out of a relationship? How do you explain the failure, the disappointment, the shock, the night when…, the day he…, the moment you…, the fear, the uncertainty, the anxiety, the sadness, the unbelievable, the this can’t be my life and ultimately, the realization that the dream was no longer and never really was and never really could be, reality? I couldn’t sum it up until I understood it and when I did understand, I knew the reason why I left: I had to save my life. It was the only thing I could do.
It sounds awfully dramatic and aren’t break-ups always that way? So dramatic. They are. And in this case, the apocalypse was revealed…naked, bare and raw: I had to save my life. Apocalypse can be defined as a disaster, destruction or the end of the world. It is also means to uncover, reveal or to stand exposed. In her new book Yoga and Vegetarianism, Sharon Gannon says: “When we let go of holding on to things, our hands will be open to receive everything.”
Many of us are often most content in a state of discontent. It’s the old: “I’ll be happy when…” Facing our personal day of reckoning is scary and oftentimes gets very ugly before the beauty is revealed. When I made the decision to leave, I got some very good advice from a dear friend. She said: “Jen, it’s gonna get worse before it gets worse.” And she was right. And it was okay. It is only when we confront the discontent, challenge the discomfort and examine our truth that the joy, splendor and celebration of life can begin. No one else can do this…only you. No one else is to blame…only you. No one else can save your life…only you. Buddha says: “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
Day to day, we forget how much power we hold in our hands and in our hearts. Instead, we hold onto the monotony and the displeasure. And rather than let the thing go that keeps us suspended, we hoard it and feed it and drag it around. Sharon says: “We each weave our own tangled web of karma and most certainly become entangled in it, as our reality is being created from our own actions.” What if you headed heart-first into the disaster, exposed and vulnerable, and let the revelation begin? What if you just let it go? Instead of saying, “I’ll be happy when…” what if you simply did the thing you needed to do to be happy now? What if you saved your life?
“We must embody what we feel is good and beautiful and not wait for others to lead us.” -Sharon Gannon
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Give
“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” -Mother TeresaGive Peace. Give Joy. Give Freedom. Give Yoga.
During the month of December, bring a friend, family member or co-worker to our class and they practice for free!
“If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.” -The 14th Dalai Lama
I am looking forward to meeting your buddies this Saturday and every Saturday!
Peace and joy and freedom to you and yours…
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
