Be a Lifesaver

“Blame keeps the sad game going. It keeps stealing all your wealth – giving it to an imbecile with no financial skills. Dear one, wise up. -Hafiz

After leaving my former long-term relationship, many people asked me: “Why?” How do you sum up the fall-out of a relationship? How do you explain the failure, the disappointment, the shock, the night when…, the day he…, the moment you…, the fear, the uncertainty, the anxiety, the sadness, the unbelievable, the this can’t be my life and ultimately, the realization that the dream was no longer and never really was and never really could be, reality? I couldn’t sum it up until I understood it and when I did understand, I knew the reason why I left: I had to save my life. It was the only thing I could do.

It sounds awfully dramatic and aren’t break-ups always that way? So dramatic. They are. And in this case, the apocalypse was revealed…naked, bare and raw: I had to save my life. Apocalypse can be defined as a disaster, destruction or the end of the world. It is also means to uncover, reveal or to stand exposed. In her new book Yoga and Vegetarianism, Sharon Gannon says: “When we let go of holding on to things, our hands will be open to receive everything.”

Many of us are often most content in a state of discontent. It’s the old: “I’ll be happy when…” Facing our personal day of reckoning is scary and oftentimes gets very ugly before the beauty is revealed. When I made the decision to leave, I got some very good advice from a dear friend. She said: “Jen, it’s gonna get worse before it gets worse.” And she was right. And it was okay. It is only when we confront the discontent, challenge the discomfort and examine our truth that the joy, splendor and celebration of life can begin. No one else can do this…only you. No one else is to blame…only you. No one else can save your life…only you. Buddha says: “No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

Day to day, we forget how much power we hold in our hands and in our hearts. Instead, we hold onto the monotony and the displeasure. And rather than let the thing go that keeps us suspended, we hoard it and feed it and drag it around. Sharon says: “We each weave our own tangled web of karma and most certainly become entangled in it, as our reality is being created from our own actions.” What if you headed heart-first into the disaster, exposed and vulnerable, and let the revelation begin? What if you just let it go? Instead of saying, “I’ll be happy when…” what if you simply did the thing you needed to do to be happy now? What if you saved your life?

“We must embody what we feel is good and beautiful and not wait for others to lead us.” -Sharon Gannon